Endure by Carrie Jones

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I was stuck between 3.5 and 4 stars for this book, but since we can’t give half stars, I’m rounding up. I’d been really looking forward to Endure, and while I’m not disappointed in this final book, I don’t feel quite satisfied. It’s kind of like eating a weight watcher’s dessert when you really wanted Cold Stone.

I’ve really enjoyed watching the way Zara has changed from the first book, becoming a heroine when only three books ago she was repeating phobias to herself like a mantra. She has really grown a lot, and I loved how things were resolved between her and her pixie father, as well as her stepfather. Her relationships with Astley and Nick, however, left me wanting.

If it hadn’t already bugged me a little how similar Astley and Nick are to Edward and Jacob, this book seemed to bring it out even more. And while I am happy with how Zara came to choose Astley in the end (which is totally fair considering Nick’s behavior), she and Nick are still unresolved by the end. But maybe that’s okay, because a lot of relationships are weird and awkward at the end with strings still left hanging, especially if you’re a teenager who has just saved the world from the apocalypse.

I’ll miss these guys!

Just FYI, I’m going to try to review what I’m reading and post it a little more often…in case anyone is interested!

*hugs*
Aylah

View all my reviews

Eleven years ago today I lost someone really important to me. He was someone full of life, who enjoyed every moment, from the excitement of our jobs at Disney to the mundane of buying groceries at Walmart. He had a smile that eclipses my memories of his funeral. He is also the reason I will never, *ever* experiment with, or even read about, breath play. Too many people die from this – more than many of us will ever realize – a fact that I learned in an extraordinarily traumatic and painful way.

But I choose to celebrate the life of the friend I lost, to carry his smile and his sense of adventure with me. In his memory, I am posting here the two songs played at Epcot center after the Tapestry of Nations parade he so loved to perform in. I remember him, and I live to keep the promise I made at his grave – that I will go on.

Every evening
Brings an ending
Every day becomes a legacy

Every sunset
Leads to morning
With the promise of opportunity

We can reach for the stars we find along the way
Dreaming as we learn to love everyday

Promise You will take my hand
As tomorrow comes We’ll go on

We’ll go on
Growing closer through the years
Moving on
Through the good times and the tears
Ever on
Another thousand circles ’round the sun
If two can be as one
We’ll go on

There is music
If you listen
In the rhythm of each breath we take

Destinations
Undiscovered
Revelations from every choice we make

And I know
There are diamonds dancin’ in the sky
All we have to do Is open our eyes

Promise
We’ll walk side by side
As a new day dawns
We’ll go on

We’ll go on
Growing closer through the years
Moving on
Through the good times and the tears
Ever on
Another thousand circles ’round the sun
A new life has begun
The two of us as one
We’ll go on

Moving on
Through the good times and the tears
Ever on
Another thousand circles ’round the sun
A new life has begun
When two of us are one
And we live to keep the promise

We’ll go on
Ever on
We’ll go on

*hugs*
Aylah

Hey all,

I don’t usually talk about anything more than fanfics or books on here, but I just changed that with my post about the animal shelter fire, so I thought, why not keep going with it?

This past Sunday, hubs and I went to see Daughtry perform (and was also, oddly enough, sitting six seats down from a fellow fandom member)! The performance was awesome, the vibe in the Palace Theater a little more chill than the last time we saw them play. Needless to say, the Daughtry/Lifehouse/Cavo concert we went two years ago at the Times Union Center was an epic, life changing show that, oddly enough, ended up inspiring  Chapters 19 and 20 of The Ride!

While the mood was a bit more muted for this concert, it was no less amazing, and I was particularly moved by Daughtry’s performance of “What About Now.” This video was playing on a massive screen behind the band.

Leave it to Daughtry to give an excellent performance, while at the same time remind us all to look outside ourselves and have more of a social conscience. That, in my eyes, is worthy of calling someone a rock star.

*hugs*
Aylah

Hey everyone,

I don’t usually do this, but an animal shelter near me sustained major damage due to a fire, and they really need a lot of help. I have worked with them before – they are a great organization – and this email from them broke my heart.

Dear Friend of the Felines and Animalkind,

Tuesday night at 11 pm there was a fire in the building of Animalkind. Due to the fast response of the fire department and our sprinkler system-no lives were lost. Unfortunately the water damage is tremendous and we needed to evacuate all 120 cats on Wednesday. The Warren Inn generously provided a temporary housing place, but many of our rescues still need a place to go!

We have nowhere to go and no funds. We are in desperate NEED of locations, homes, foster homes and donations!! PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DONATE NOW

Any amount will help us save our organization. Please spread the word and adopt or foster! WE NEED YOU NOW! Otherwise our existence is uncertain, that means there will be no place for the forgotten and homeless felines.

Please e-mail if you can help  (our telephone system is down for now) www.animalkind.info

Here’s an article about the specifics of the fire. If there’s anything anyone can do, any small donation, I’m sure they will really appreciate it.

Thanks guys,
Aylah

Avflox has made my day. The article she wrote, titled The Troubling Message in Fifty Shades of Grey is brilliantly written, spot on, and I’m so thrilled that someone finally wrote it!

Let me state right now – I am not jealous of E.L. James/Icy or the fortune she will receive from these fifteen minutes of fame. I do not have a problem with the fact that she pulled to publish, but find it surprising that she was not held back by an editor who informed her, “hey, a college girl in Seattle isn’t going to call a tank top a ‘singlet’.” My problem is, and always has been, her disgusting portrayal of BDSM, and elevating Christian Grey as a dominant who we should all fall in love with. As a woman with my own personal experience in this department, I have one word for the love of Mr. Grey: Bull-fucking-shit. And I was clapping when I read Avflox’s opinion on this aspect of the story.

I wasn’t far into the story when I realized that Fifty Shades of Grey not only sets people who live a BDSM lifestyle back decades in terms of being understood by society, but that it eroticizes dangerous practices as well, especially for those who are new to this aspect of sexuality and looking to incorporate it into their lives.

She goes on to say that,

Christian Grey for the most part is depicted as caring and gentlemanly — opening doors, pulling chairs, rising when a woman enters the room, worrying that his sweet Anastasia will not be safe in her old car, dashing to her home immediately after Anastasia sends him a rather oblique e-mail about how he always leaves her after they’re together, and so on. Indeed, James does a fine job of crafting the narrative to convince readers that Christian cannot do without a submissive’s consent and that in exchange for her subjugation, he will give his submissive everything she needs and also protect her from the world, which again and again he points out as dangerous.

However, in truth, the world — with all its old cars and commercial airlines — is nowhere nearly as dangerous as Christian is himself, not because he practices BDSM but because he’s a terrible dominant. This is where Fifty Shades of Grey started to make me nervous — those with no other experience of the lifestyle have nothing to guide them in their journey into BDSM but the eroticization of reckless practices.

Her entire review of Fifty Shades is something I wish I could photocopy, get into my own goddamn Charlie Tango, and paper the entire East Coast with.

I understand there’s a lot of controversy surrounding this book, the author, the original fanfic and the 50 Shades fans, and I have been in a position to have to keep my mouth shut about it for a long time, but now I finally don’t give a rat’s ass. Because if there is one place I should be able to express my own opinion, it’s on my own blog.

So bring on the drama. I’m ready.

Hello all,

This is just a quick post to let you all know that my stories will be coming down from www.fanfiction.net as of May 20, 2012. They have already been taken down from Twilighted.net. I am not pulling them to publish – the stories I have written in here will remain fan fiction. However, my life is changing, and so has the Twilight Fandom, and the time has come for me to move on.

My stories will remain available on my blog. I will also be happy to send out pdf, mobi or epub files if anyone is interested. Please feel free to message me on twitter, or through my blog. I will continue to post things there, including but not limited to book reviews, drabbles and perhaps some news if I start to dabble in original fiction. I will also remain active on twitter for the time being, so look for me there.

I will remain thankful for the friends, ideas, love and support I have received while being a member of this Fandom. The list of people I feel indebted to is endless, but I have to thank: Awesomesauce76 for giving me the courage to start writing, Kyla713 for always whipping my words into shape, to Kassiah for always making me laugh, to Coldplaywhore for tirelessly working through the Fandom For Sexual Assault Awareness fundraiser campaign with me, to Tarasueme, MsKathy and Theladyingrey for always offering encouraging words, and to every author who I have WC’d or exchanged ideas with – the creativity in this Fandom astounds me to this day.

I also want to thank each and every person that has reviewed, favorited, put one of my stories on alert, written a blog post about me or sent me a friendly. The last two years that I have been a part of this fandom will remain one of the most memorable times of my life.

*hugs always*
Aylah

Find the Cost of Freedom came in second place in the Literotica Category in the Age of Edward Contest!! Thanks so much to all of you who voted for me!

I loved writing this story and am so happy you all liked it, too!

*hugs*
Aylah

Voting has begun for the Age of Edward contest entries, both in the Young Adult and Literotica categories! There are many great authors who have submitted one shots to this contest, so please head on over and give all the entries a read! My entry, Find the Cost of Freedom, is in the Literorica category, and it would give me warm fuzzies if you gave it a read!

And don’t forget to vote! You can do it right on the Age of Edward blog site here!

*hugs!*
Aylah

Hi all!

A belated Happy Valentine’s Day to you all!

I was so thrilled this week to see that my ficwife, Awesomesauce76 reviewed Candy Hearts and Red Roses on The Fictionators! Here’s a little snippet of what she had to say about it!

If you have felt this frustration at any time in your life, then Candy Hearts and Red Roses is just the story for you! It’s written by my sexy little fic-wife, Aylah50, and I have to say that she really nailed it for me here.

We open with Bella, who is an Editorial Assistant at a popular magazine and fed up with her coffee-fetching job. She is way over-qualified for her position and growing more bored by the day. It doesn’t help that Valentine’s is breathing down her neck and she has to find places to stick all the enormous flower arrangements that Emmett keeps sending over to Rosalie, her superior.

You can read the rest of her review here!

I was also psyched to find out that Candy Hearts and Red Roses is up for Fic of the Week at The Lemonade Stand! Thanks so much to those gals for recommending me. You can vote for it here!

*hugs!*
Aylah <3

So, I’ve always wanted to write a Twilight o/s that was loosely based on how my parents met, and the Age of Edward contest gave me the perfect opportunity to do it! It takes place around the events leading up to the Kent State University protest and massacre in May 1970, and I am very excited about it! Here’s the summary:

Amidst the chaos of his family and the turbulent times of 1970, Edward Cullen has learned to stay quiet. But meeting Bella Swan, a free-thinking hippie at Kent State University, will force him to find the conviction to stand up for what he believes in, no matter what the cost

And the beautiful banner made by Heatherdawn!

There’s a teaser up on the Fictionators today, but here’s an extra long snippet for all of you!

She hurries inside, and I rub my sweaty palms against my pants as I wait. When she returns with her guitar strap strung over her shoulder, her smile is genuine. “You play at all?”

“No, but I do like a lot of music.”

A bob of her head encourages me to continue, and much to my surprise, we spend the better part of the afternoon strolling around campus, talking about groups. She is as enraptured as I was to hear that Alice had gone to Woodstock.

“Oh, man, I wish I could have gone,” she says wistfully, back pressed against a tree. The afternoon sun is beginning to wane, and the shadows from the leaves above us play on Bella’s face as we sit cross-legged beneath them.

“Me, too.” I’m amazed at how well our conversation is going, and trying to ignore the growing crowd of people merging at the R.O.T.C. building nearby.

Bella plays a few chords. “Edward, how old are you?”

“Eighteen. Nineteen in June.”

She hums a few notes before turning an earnest gaze on me. “Are you worried about the draft?”

I look away for a moment, thinking back to my eighteenth birthday, when Emmett accompanied me to register with the draft board. I was terrified, the card I now carried burning a hole in my wallet. But in the days that followed, I managed to lose myself in the broadcasts of Apollo 11, the scientist in me sure that there was no way a war could continue when so many possibilities in space lay ahead of us.

“I try not to think about it very much. But they say the war is ending, you know?”

“They’ve been saying that for a while.” Bella strums the beginning of Jefferson Airplane’s Volunteers. “Would you go?”

“To Vietnam? I don’t think I’d make a very good soldier,” I chuckle. “But, I guess, if it’s the right thing to do.” Bella doesn’t answer, looking out over a crowd that is steadily gaining volume. “Would you?”

“Me?” she laughs, but then is serious. “If women got drafted, well then…I hear Canada is a real nice place to live.”

“You’d run away?” I can’t hide my surprise. “You know you could probably never come back.”

Bella shrugs. “I don’t look at it as running away. It’s doing what it takes to be free.”

I’m about to tell her how amazing I think she is when Alice reappears, crouching down next to me. “I think you guys had better get out of here. James is going to set the ROTC headquarters on fire.” Worry clutches my chest, not only out of concern for Bella’s safety, but at the look on Alice’s face. “He’s not listening to me and Jasper at all.”

“Is Victoria with him?” Bella stands, craning her neck for a glimpse of her cousin.

“Yes, but I promise to keep an eye on her. Will you two please get somewhere safe?” Alice reaches out to squeeze both our shoulders, and then rushes back to the unruly mob ahead of us.

Once again, I offer to walk Bella back to her dorm. “You have a way home?” she asks. I nod, and we hurry to the entrance where she suddenly turns to face me.

“Why did you never talk to me before today?” she demands, her tone accusing. My mouth falls open, but before I can answer, she says in a softer tone, “I always hoped you would.”

“I’ve wanted to talk to you for months,” I admit.

A loud crash startles both of us, and before I can think, I’ve pulled her into my arms, my body shielding her from the blaze of flame that shoots up in the distance. It takes a second before I realize I’m holding her, and she’s looking up at me with hope in her eyes.

“I’m glad you finally did,” Bella whispers.

All around us people are running across the campus, but I refuse to let this moment go. Dipping my head, my kiss is a question as I let my lips gently brush across hers. She answers by opening her mouth to mine, wet and soft and perfect as her fingers come up to clutch at my collar.

“Edward!”

It is not Bella’s voice, but Emmett’s I hear calling my name. We break apart, turning to see him waiting on the corner. He’s still in his uniform, his stare tired and angry from the driver’s seat of his car.

“I have to go,” I breathe. “Can I see you tomorrow?”

Bella nods and nervously eyes the fire behind us.

“Get inside,” I entreat, kissing her once more. When she lets go of me and hurries away, I wait until I see her safely through the door, emotions turbulent within me. Emmett barks my name again, and I hurry to his car.

“I only left base to take you home,” he grunts. “I need to be back at nineteen-hundred.”

“Why?” I’m barely listening as we pull away from campus, but what Emmett says next grabs my full attention.

“Governor Rhodes has ordered the Infantry to handle the protest.”

“To what? Tear gas them? Shoot?” He doesn’t respond, but his silence is answer enough. “But Em, Alice is out there!”

His jaw is tight. “I know.”

The full story, Find the Cost of Freedom, is up on FFnet now! Hope you’ll give it a read!

*hugs*
- Aylah